Forty

Yup, it's finally here. I'm at Jeff version 4.0.

And this video was put together my friend Eugene, who really outdid himself. It was a good evening, with the right amount of emo, minus the drama.

Here's the video that brought on the low-level water-works.

Commitment

I think it's finally happened to me.

I'm not sure how this whole thing's gonna go, but I made a commitment to be with one person, and it feels right.

And you know what, I'm thrilled. And scared. And happy. And just going with the flow.

Methinks a short vacation somewhere might be in the works. I'll keep you posted.

Happy Easter.

Changes

It's funny how changing your relationship status to 'In a relationship' on Facebook, of all places, brought on a barrage of responses and comments from friends who were either surprised, happy, curious or just simply relieved.

Yup, relieved. And such a good feeling. I know there will be good days and bad ahead, but I know, at this moment, that I want them both. I hope I'll be strong enough and mature enough to deal with anything that comes my way. Our way.

HT is such a lovely person and so strong, too, though at the moment, it's not looking that way. I'm determined to be a good partner and friend.

Wish me luck and love.

5 Months In

Yup, a new milestone for me. Still much to learn, and a long way to go.

But I'm glad that it's happening. And I'm looking forward to what happens next, in a good way.

And it's interesting how the work/life arcs have sorta flipped over.

Restart

After a week of waiting and trying to not completely lose it, I'm happy to report that a dinner and movie date took place on Monday.

8 days of mixed feelings and tears and hurt and a major rethink was painful but I know was long overdue. It's clear that YH is most probably going to be a major factor in Jeff 4.0. What a way to start the year.

In unrelated news, I received confirmation of my first bonus at work in 7 years. It feels good.

I can exhale on so many levels.

Shaved

I didn't get to meet YH as planned. He was sick with some tummy ailment.

But I had to shave. I was beginning to look quite unpalatable.

There has been one phone-call, which I wasn't expecting, and there have been a few more text messages and chats on messenger. I'm grateful for all these.

Whatever the outcome, I hope I can be honest and evolve into someone who's better and stronger.

I hate how cliches are all true in times like these.

One Week In

A week has passed and contact has been re-established, to some extent.

A week that's been equal parts emotional, challenging and draining. It's self-inflicted, yeah, but I've also got a new sense of clarity of what I want. I hope this lesson stays with me.

I've not shaved since I told YH about the bad stuff. The plan is to shave only after we meet again. I'm looking really scruffy. Fingers crossed.