But I did have a good Saturday, with my Bali photos appearing in the New Straits Times, like so (click for a bigger view):
Then there was a birthday dinner and drinks with some good friends later in the evening. It was a lovely get-together, with good food, good company and lots to drink. The topic of conversation alternated between the flippant (Why did my friend not want to kiss the shirtless rock-climber in East Malaysia?) to the downright serious...like my idea of pre-planning my funeral. Hear me out.
I had attended my uncle's funeral on Boxing Day last year, and his church had taken over everything to do with the funeral arrangements, from the flowers, the Bible readings, the hymns to be sung and right down to the eulogy. The church had consulted with my uncle's children, all of whom had converted, but I really felt bad for the rest of his immediate family (his siblings) who 1) were not Christian and 2) were not involved with any way besides turning up at the morning funeral. My uncle had converted to Chrisitianity in the last 2 years of his life, when he was already sick.
I had always remembered my uncle as the business man who would travel around the region. Whenever he came through Singapore, he would pop in to see my folks, and he would always give me some pocket money. He was strong, successful and and so cool.
Fast-forward 30 years or so and the man that was being eulogized was a total stranger to me. Sure, we had drifted over the years, but I was very put off by the church's 'use' of my uncle's death as a recruitment drive for the funeral attendees to 'be saved'. I understand that proselytizing is one of the tenets of the church, but come on, can we please be sensitive to the family's need to mourn first?
Which led me to decide that to avoid any drama, I will plan my own memorial /funeral service - I will decide what music will be played, what types of food will be served, what types of flowers will be used in the floral tributes and the full rundown for the day.
I know - what a control freak, right? But then again, if it's gonna be a celebration of my life, I would like to have some say in it.
Is this last night's vodka or this morning's laryngitis medication talking?
2 comments:
Just leave me out on a rock and let the birds peck at me.
That sucks about the way your uncle's funeral was handled. I suppose in a way, towards the end, and when it IS the end, the immediate family would know best what he would have wanted.
I'm assuming when you said his children had converted, that meant he was a convert himself - so he probably would have wanted the funeral the way it happened.
Of course, I'm only assuming. ;)
After what happened with the haphazardness of my dad's sudden departure and the funeral details (among so many other things) to be handled, my mum practically has a complete plan for her funeral, from what to do in regards to banking, to the soundtrack to the entire week of mourning!
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