Fumbling Towards Me

It's been about a month since I've returned from my unscheduled and unexpected trips to Bali, Koh Samui & Penang. Lots have happened since then, what with the return to routine and coming to terms with a revived awareness and feelings that were stirred up when I had time just for me and nothing else.

Initially, I had thought that the reconnection was purely within, and to a certain extent, that was true. Dealing with where I was, what I was feeling, recognizing what I wanted and learning that as private as I thought I was, I am a very public mourner. It's reinforced what I knew about myself - if I feel it, it will show and they will know.

For someone who can fake it real when I have to, I fake it bad when it comes to me. I have to remind myself that that's a good thing.

The past couple of weeks have also allowed me to see more clearly who I have in my family of friends, from Damansara to Dharamsala. And that there is love. Lots of it. And that's an even better thing.

Now if only I can get some proper sleep...