Adventures In Transit

From Surat Thani/P...

And then there were 4...We said goodbye to Keith around half 12 today - he was flying from Samui to BKK, and then back to SF (I need to visit him and his family). We then got onto our van which took us to a pier about 30minutes away from our hotel. From the pier, we were ushered onto a bus, then a ferry, and about 90minutes later, back on the bus when the ferry arrived at Donsak in Surat Thani.

4 hours after we left our hotel, we arrived at the Surat Thani train station - very basic and very late-70s in it's flavour and colour, and not in a good way. We had about 6 hours to kill and that led to a vain hunt for a nice little deli or cafe or just some place to rest and chill out somewhere near the train station. In the end, we jumped into a taxi and headed towards Surat Thani's city centre.

I'm writing this from the Diamond Plaza Hotel - the nicest we could find from Mike's guide book - where we've checked in, showered, had a super-spicy dinner, marvelled at the hotel's dated decor, and now have another hour or so to kill before heading back to catch our train to Butterworth. Maureen, Mike & Stephen are getting some shut-eye. The room is quiet except for the sound of Stephen's blocked-nose breathing and my typing...

I'm feeling a bit physically drained and I've come to appreciate what little pills can do to help me sleep. I'm also feeling a bit emotionally drained from this wonderful experiment of letting go and letting things happen as they do.

I think I'm gonna learn how to ride a bike next...

We are all the same

It's Day 4 of Samui and we're down to 5 party people - Chris flew back to Bangkok earlier today, from where he'll then connect back to Chicago and then LA...or is that NYC...oh, he's a busy man.

As I type this, Mike's sleeping on the floor to the left of the bed I'm in, Stephen's to my right, asleep in one of his few remaining clean shirts, and Keith is looking through a Thailand guide book to capitalize on his connecting day in Bangkok tomorrow. Maureen just woke up from her nap on the sofa-bed in the living area.

It's nice and quiet here in our new villa - we checked in a couple of hours ago, when we were a sweaty collection of frayed nerves, tightly wound up with woefully depleted levels of serotonin.

I'm tired and sleepy and I'm sure I'll pay for it all soon enough but for now, I'm feeling good. This sabbatical (if you will) from the daily rigours of my everyday same ol' same ol' has been fun-filled, unexpected and one of the best breaks I've taken in a long, long time. And to think it all began with a chance meeting. Or was it really a coincidence?

I've made great connections on this trip and I've had such wonderful times with a great group of people. My initial reservations have been replaced with the comforting knowledge that I truly connected with Stephen's friends - Maureen (my female version...that's a whole lotta woman!), Mike (smarty-pants, dulcet tones, and so giving), Chris (evil charade whore, funny as hell!) and Keith (everyone needs an awesome friend like him) - and that in more ways that one, this trip was totally worth it.

There's nothing like a huge serving of bittersweet to make you face up to it, deal, learn and grow.

40 in Samui

Koh Samui's been such a beautiful place - we've been here 2 days and the villa is gorgeous, the views incredible and the company, fabo.

Stephen turned 40 yesterday and we celebrated with a brunch at the nearby BBC (Big Buddha Cafe) and, later in the evening, we had a homemade dinner and an absurdly delicious chocolate cake, baked from scratch - thank you, Maureen!

From Birthday

I'm glad that I took Stephen up on his invitation to join in his birthday celebrations - I've made 4 more super-cool friends and while partying with them last night, I know for sure that we made connections. Hugs, laughs, tears - we had them all, and then some!

The party was a great way to cap my incredible 3-week adventures in the Land of Suess. At a time when I had said that "I don't need any more friends", I've been shown that such declarations are silly at best, and super-naive at worst.

As I plan my return to KL, I know that I will be more open to a lot of things, and that what I've seen and felt and learned would not have happened if I hadn't met Stephen. It will be interesting to see how I move ahead from this point and with this friendship.

Happy Birthday, my friend, and may your travels continue to touch the lives of people that you meet along the way.

One Way Ticket

One-way tickets scare me.

The idea of not having a plan of return, or the option to exit, makes me sweat. I want to know,ahead of time, when I get in, how long I'm staying for and just so I can plan ahead, when I'm headed back.

(Extrapolate from this, if you will, why I'm still single...)

I'm sure this rigid-ness (is this a word?) is partly the result of years of traveling for work, which sorta reinforces my need to have clear in and out points. And so far, it's served me well. No visa dramas, except for that time I was detained in Danang when I popped, sans visa, to attend Melanie's wedding.

By the way, her baby boy is now officially Finnegan Tsang Yat Sukasol-Clapp, or Finn for short.

From Mel & Finn

Ok, back to me...

So whatever this new found (or rediscovered) thing that I'm feeling after Bali has led me to Bangkok and Koh Samui thereafter on, get this, 2 one-way tickets. I'm in BKK now and tomorrow morning, just as the sun rises, we'll be on a plane to Samui for the party that is Stephen's 40th. It's all exciting (I've never been to Samui) and making me a bit nervous (one-way tickets!). I'm breathing, I'm breathing - what a drama queen, I know.

And speaking of new, I met 3 new friends last nite - Mike, Chris & the lovely Maureen (she's a Gemini too...I don't know what that means, but she's Mo to everyone) - Stephen's friends who flew all the way from LA to celebrate with him. Today, we played tourists, visiting the Grand Palace, Wat Pho and we even took a fast-boat ride on the Chao Phraya river. Stephen played tour guide. Well, sorta.

From BKK 1

I've been to BKK many times before but the trips were usually for work meetings or quick catch-ups with Melanie, so I don't do anything touristy. Today was a nice change of pace, taking in the sights and not worrying about appointments or meetings. And with such fab company, it was all good.

Can't wait to see what Samui will offer. I'm don't even have a clear idea about when I'm gonna head back to KL. I'm just going where the one-way ticket takes me.

Promise to hold me if I start shaking?

Family

It's been 3 days since my return to KL - the cats are glad, I'm up to speed (almost) on all the work-related stuff and I finally got my haircut (Faevien rocks!).

Re-entry can be bitch but so far, all looks good.

And for the 5th time in 6 weeks, I'm preparing for another trip. Stephen turns 40 on Wednesday and I'm headed to the celebrations in Koh Samui, via a 2-day stopover in Bangkok. That's a lot of numbers but it's all exciting and good, and again, a continuing adventure in the land of Suess.

I received an sms around 1 this morning from my friend Melanie who lives in Bangkok, telling me that she finally popped! Her baby boy arrived at 10:30pm on 22nd June after an 8-hour labour and 8 days past his due date. He's a Gemini/Cancer cusp, which will make him, astrologically speaking, very groovy. The 2-day stopover in BKK couldn't have been better-timed!

Mel and I have known each other for more than 10 years and in the past 5 years, we've become better friends. She's such a joy and one of the nicest and smartest people I know - she speaks English, Cantonese, Thai, Italian, French & German and she also plays the harp! I'm the baby's (fairy) godfather, and I'm thrilled to play my part in making him the coolest baby in the world. With parents like Mel & Noi, I know it won't be too difficult.

And I also met up with Nini today, one of my closest friends at work. She alternates between being my conscience, my partner-in-crime and my undercover agent (the woman knows a lot!). Over coffee, we chatted about my trip to Bali, my blog and what's going on at work. Very lovely.

I've had great chats with so many people over these 3 days about what I've written. Between Facebook and this blog, I think the picture is getting more complete. And I wanna say a lot more.

Evolution: I Do It Lonely

After 6 days in Bali, I'm back in KL - back to my 3 cats, my condo, my routine, my bed. It's good to be back home, i suppose, but this trip has definitely done something to me. I've seen, explored, discovered and let myself be open to things and feelings that I've either suppressed (because of work or the excuse of work) or simply ignored for a long, long time (for various reasons).

Stephen, my traveling bud, kept saying on our last day in Bali that you can never step into the same river twice, because the flowing water results in changes in the make-up of the river, no matter how minuscule. Which means that the river is in a constant state of flux. It's a great metaphor and with that in mind, here's where I'm at in this moment, post-Bali:

1. I pose in photographs because I'm not photogenic and feel that Zoolandering is an entertaining distraction from my discomfort...and I insist on photo approvals when I can get it. I know, I know, if you can't love yourself, yada yada yada...

2. I am a relatively low-maintenance traveler, which is surprising given that I am quite fussy when it comes to food and location and (you know this) internet connections. Maybe it was Bali, maybe it was traveling with Stephen. And maybe it was that plus the fact that I didn't want to be a spoilt tourist.

3. I found out that I snore. Be warned, future sleeping partners.

4. I'm grateful for knowing enough Bahasa Indonesia to be understood by the local Balinese. It makes me want to learn more languages.

5. I like meeting new people but I love making new friends.

6. I have allowed myself to become colder and harder in the last 6 months and I've allowed work to be the excuse. I love what I do, but I miss who I was. My week in Bali reacquainted me with the Jeff that wasn't always thinking about schedules or publicity campaigns or budgets or dealing with staff issues. I miss that Jeff so much.

6. As assertive and outspoken as I think I am, there are things that I just cannot say or ask for because I feel that I'm being inconvenient and selfish. How long have I been faking it that I can't even be honest with my feelings? Why do I feel like I have to be cool with things all the time? A wise friend said to me that it's not a case of who's right or who's wrong when it comes to feelings. I'm working on this.

7. A friend who asks for my honest opinion and then respects it despite his own judgment earns my respect and a boat-load of other emotions that I cannot even begin to describe. Thank you, Stephen.

8. I've not been this honest about my feelings in a long time. It scares me a little.

Yup, the trip's ended but the journey's definitely been changed. I like it.

Tout it from the mountains...

From Bali 4

Today, I experienced true bliss in Bali - 2 hours of trekking along the Campuan Ridge in Ubud that was beautiful, picturesque and peaceful.

I totally understand that tourism feeds the economy of Bali and that people have to make a living, but seriously, I don't want to buy a batik sarong, a wooden carving or postcards as I'm stepping out of a temple or restaurant, no matter how cheap they are.

This trip's been sorta transformative in many ways, including a nascent but deep understanding of what it means to be a traveler instead of a tourist. Which means that you can live without wi-fi in your hotel room(as long as the internet cafe's not too far away), a little bit of sweating won't kill you (roll down the windows) and that living with cats really does not prepare you to be considerate when it comes to snoring (sorry, Stephen).

Getting back to the trek - it started at the breathtaking Pura Gunung Lebah, a sprawling temple complex that had numerous rock carvings of garudas, supernatural gatekeepers and beautiful platforms that I believe are used for worship or that act as staging locations (gamelan orchestra, visitors, etc). There was no one in the temple complex and Stephen and I spent a good 20 minutes looking around, snapping pictures and just taking in the grandness of this temple that was surrounded by trees and lush greenery. The only sound that we could hear were birds and the nearby river. It was a truly spiritual moment in our Bali trip.

Then we got on the walking trail on the ridge between the Wos & Chakri rivers, a trail that went north and uphill and cut through rice paddies and the small village of Bangkiang Sidem and which then cut back south into Central Ubud. It was postcard-perfect - from the undulating hills, the quiet rice terraces, the oblivious ducks/ chickens/ cows, and I didn't even get too bothered with the crazy mangy mongrels that popped out at any time from any number of locations and almost made my traveling friend wet his pants.

And all along the trek, there wasn't a single tout. We were greeted with warm and bemused smiles from the local residents and nobody asked if we wanted taxis, or drinks or paintings of naked women and frangipani flowers.

This is the Bali that we just don't see enough of, and after our extravagant and vacuous dinner at the much-hyped Ku De Ta last night, I was glad that I got the chance today to experience the Bali that every traveler knows about intimately and is lost on too many tourists.

The Bali Chronicles, continued

From Bali 3

So Day 4 of my Bali holiday saw my traveling bud Stephen and I move from our traditional Balinese villa (mosquitoes included) to our new swanky-looking boutique hotel, Casa Indigo Bali. My loud and crazy friend Stanley had recommended the hotel to me - a friend of his friend owns it, and at USD36/night, it was an amazing bargain, and half the price of our villa.

And then we found out why it was so cheap. The boutique hotel was tucked away in a relatively remote stretch of houses, complete with padi fields (with heavy grains of the lovely stuff), collections of cows and lots of tiny mom and pop shops flung out few and far between. The road to the new hotel was winding and it seemed to take us far far away from our familiar stomping grounds of Jalan Dhiyana Pura in the heart of tourist-heavy Seminyak.

But when the van we were in finally arrived at our destination, it was heartening (and a relief!) to see that the online pictures were the real deal. The hotel was beautiful, with 2 rows of well-decorated, single-story rooms.

The lawn that led to the rooms were well-manicured and very tastefully decorated and looked very Wallpaper (as Stephen put it). The hotel's design and ambience was in stark comparison to the surrounding houses and puras (Balinese shrines) and seeming random town planning.

More importantly, we did not have any mosquitoes to monitor, chase out or kill.

Between the 2 rows of well-designed rooms was the most beautiful swimming pool I've ever seen in any hotel. It looked like an expanded canal lined with green slate rock (i think) and a smattering of beautiful azure tiles, but the swimming pool was sexy and cool beyond words. The water came up to my neck, so this was strictly an adults-only pool. And hotel.

But heavens to murgatroyd, this beautiful boutique hotel did not have wi-fi or broadband connections, even... (ugh). I had to sit in the lobby and borrow the reception area's main PC internet cable, and even that main vein couldn't offer up anything that could be remotely termed 'broadband' (double ugh).

The area we were in, Petitenget, didn't seem to have any serious broadband action, which we discovered after a 25min trek to the nearest internet cafe. So we decided to grab lunch (Nasi Padang, yums) and then walked around the area to explore a side of Bali that we had not seen since we'd arrived.

We were definitely not in tourist-trap territory, but Petitenget looked set to be the next luxury villa/spa/condo area for the affluent in Bali. So come visit quick, kids.

Oh, go check out Stephen's blog for more pictures at http://www.satoristephen.com.

I'm actually on holiday...

From Bali 2

and in Bali, to boot. Cliche? perhaps, but get this - I meet a nice fella on a Monday and then proceeded to spend an inordinate amount of time eating, chatting, and getting to know each other while walking around KL city.

(People walk around KL City? Apparently so, and despite the crazy sweat action going on, the company was great and the distance seemed less strenuous.)

Stephen's been traveling around Asia for about 8 months or so and I met him on his last day in KL and from the get-go, we just got on. We clicked, we were on the same wavelength and it felt like we had been friends for a long time.

So over dinner - our 4th meal of the day - Stephen asked if I would be interested to join him in Bali over the weekend, which was gonna be an in-betweener before his birthday celebrations in Koh Samui. I didn't see that coming and no, it wasn't that sort of invitation. This was platonic and agenda-free, from what I could gather. And I gather good (sigh).

In spite of my usual over-mulling and calculating every last dollar, I said 'OK'. So flights were booked and arrangements were made for hotels and a driver and all that fun stuff, and 4 days after we meet, Stephen and I are in Bali.

I have to say, this is totally out of character for me. But then again, I've just turned 37, I've got major work fatigue and I figured, what the heck. Stephen didn't seem like an axe murderer, and even if he was, I'd be in Bali, so I would be dead in a great location.

So it's now Day 3 of our Bali trip and I'm happy to report that we're still friends and that we've gone on to talk about farts, Number 2's, our medical history, our sexual proclivities and our favourite lines from Sex & The City and Will & Grace.

Meeting Stephen has to be one of the highlights of my adventures in making connections. His living out of 2 bags for the past 8 months, and his playing-by-ear and go-with-the-flow state of ming are all inspiring and refreshing. He makes me look forward to turning 40. And that's saying a lot.

The fact that I'm sharing a room and bed with Stephen after having 1) lived alone for more than 11 years now, and 2) never shared rooms/beds on trips before, is truly saying a lot about this friendship. Is this growth for good ol' Jeffers?

God, I'm in Bali.